Kobayashi to Tiniest Woman: I might chomp two of you!

A option meeting between spirited eating legend Takeru Kobayashi and the smallest woman in the world doesn't sound so extreme ... untlil you realize ... he could technically eat two of her!

BONOHUR get photos of T.K. and 11-pound Jyoti Amge taken last week at the Italian TV show "Lo Dei Show Record" -- where Kobayashi broke the record for quickest time anyone has ever eaten an entire bowl of pasta.

At 33 years old, Kobayashi already has a ton of eating records to his name ... like eating 20 POUNDS of rice balls in one sitting ... which means Jyoti is roughly appetizer-sized in his world.

Kobayashi also met a bunch of other talented folks ... like Elaine Davidson -- the most pierced woman in the world -- and Nippulini ... the man who can pull the heaviest weight with just his nipples.

Queen Elizabeth's Panties

A pair of panties which used by Queen Elizabeth II was all set to be sold to a British auction house -- but TMZ has well-read the sale is delayed because of Prince William's wedding.

You can remember -- Hansons Auctioneers and Valuers wanted to buy the royal bloomers from the estate of the late "Baron" Joseph de Bicske Dobronyi  -- who got the panties after the Queen left them on a plane in 1968.

TMZ spoke with Charles Hanson -- who tells us, "Out of esteem and good manners for a person of such dignity and rank," he doesn't want the deal to go down until after the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton.

Meanwhile -- the late Baron's estate has already put up most of their items on eBay -- and plan on auctioning the panties in the U.S. if the Brits don't act fast.

Miranda Lambert policy the ACM Awards again—and Taylor Swift Gets Mean!

A number of shows lead to a chorus of boos and shouted needs for refunds, but the 46th Academy of Country Music Awards had much more to offer than just a man furious playing. Like Edward Cullen!

Why Robert Pattinson was there, you ask? To prop up his new movie, of course. R.Pattz, plus a whole slew of country music stars were at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas Sunday night to both hand out and receive awards, with Blake Shelton and the honorable Reba McEntire hosting the festivities. Blake, soon to be cohosting NBC's The Voice, showed off his sense of humor at the top of the show by poking fun at Entertainer of the Year nominee Brad Paisley with a guitar sex joke. And really, is there any better kind? Blake told the crowd of Brad's intense guitar-ing ways: "If he plays that thing any harder, he's gonna get it pregnant."

Besides sexual gadget quips, there were also awards won, and of course, awards lost. How many did seven-nominee Miranda Lambert win? 

Charlie Sheen's "Torpedo of Truth" in a circle 2: "I won!"

After violence in Detroit, it would seem Charlie Sheen found his frantic footing again after staying up until 4:30 in the morning reworking the show, he tells E! News.

"I just got back to ABC," Sheen tells us. "Gotta go with what got you to the dance and give the people what they want. On the bus someone said, 'you know, we might just keep driving to L.A.' I said, 'F-ck that. That's what losers do. I won.' "

So what did the Chicago crowd experience that the Detroit crowd didn't?

Oi, You Lot! Get Your Royal Wedding Frippery Here!

It could be the most rewarding wedding the world has seen since TomKat tied the knot: Prince William, second in line to the British throne, will marry Kate Middleton on April 29 in a wedding replete with pomp, circumstance, horses, carriages—and plenty of souvenirs for the rest of us.

Haven't bought your unofficial Crown Jewels royal wedding condoms yet? Or maybe you prefer something more official—such as the tea towels and china that have been approved by the House of Windsor itself.

The list of royal wedding tchochkes—official and otherwise—is huge and growing by the minute. See the best of the best in our Royal Wedding Trinkets and Knick-Knacks gallery!

Flavor Flav's Employees Claim Paychecks Bounced

People of Flavor Flav's Chicken say their paychecks are bouncing all over town, but Flav says the disgruntled people are just "jealous" and want him out of town.

A number of people told WQAD in Clinton, IA they couldn't cash their checks, with one being for only $150. One employee claims she even went to the bank the check was issued from, but even they wouldn't cash it!

Co-owner Nick Cimino told the station they had a "credit card glitch" at one point, but everything is fine now. He also chalked it up to disgruntled ex employees.

Flav himself said, "It's not true information, first of all. And second of all, maybe these are people that are just jealous of me being here and probably wanted to see me out. Yes, we do have money in our accounts."

Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller Custody accord

Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller finally dignified the custody agreement for their twin sons, Bob and Max -- and TMZ has all the hits, runs, and errors.

Sources tell Bonohur the agreement includes the following:

For the first 2 months ... Charlie gets the twins every other weekend, from Saturday AM until Sunday PM. The next 2 months Charlie gets the twins every other weekend ... Saturday AM until Monday AM. The next stage ... as long as Charlie and Brooke stay drug and alcohol free -- Charlie gets the twins every other weekend ... from Saturday morning until Monday morning ... and Wednesday AM until Thursday AM.

Parents must submit to random drug testing 3 times a month. Parents must have their regular nannies with them at ALL times when they have the kids.

As for Charlie's goddesses -- they can't show public displays of affection toward the twins. Charlie and Brooke can't be photographed around the kids with a romantic counterpart.

BTW, contrary to some reports, neither Charlie nor Brooke had to submit to psychological evaluation.